PLEASE READ ENTIRE POST CAREFULLY
First, I must say I was very disappointed at the choice of seniors to participate in a non-sanctioned skip day. The decision was both dismissive of a college-level course and a school in mourning—a school that should be led by the example of the senior class. I hope you have had some time to reconsider your actions, and I should remind you to check the attendance policy on your syllabus.
As you know we have a very limited time to accomplish a good deal, and most of this will need to be done independently. There has been very little consistent writing on the blog, so I’m feeling less than confident in this class’ ability to do what needs to be done. So prove me wrong—without complaint, without whining, without negotiation. Because of time constraints, you must now rely on each other for quality feedback between drafts instead of me. Please correspond with me by email at clarycarleton@comcast.net
Our thematic topic for this unit is Gender and Sexuality and you need to reread the introduction on pp. 614-5. The stories we have read include “Lady with Lapdog,” “Hills Like White Elephants,” “A Rose for Emily,” “The Yellow Wallpaper,” and “Happy Endings.”
Essay # 3 should use at least one of the ideas illustrated in at least one of the stories; that is, at least one of the stories should be referenced in some way. Three other outside sources must be included. Documentation is still giving many of you problems so please review my comments on Essay #2 and ask more questions of your peers and me.
Here are some topic ideas that could be developed into claims and argued with the help of social science research. Please use your textbook for more information on research and documentation (pp. 1468-1509). And I remind you about InfoTrac access:
InfoTrac College Edition (http://infotrac.thomsonlearning.com/)
username: openhigh
password: writingrocks
“Lady with Lapdog”
1. Explore the theme of delusion in love.
2. Explore marriage, infidelity, and different conceptions of these ideas based on gender. Do men and women have affairs for similar or different reasons?
3. Discuss marriage and divorce in America vs. marriage and divorce in other countries.
“Hills Like White Elephants”
1. Discuss how communication styles differ between the sexes.
2. Explore how pregnancy and/or abortion can affect a relationship.
“A Rose for Emily”
1. Write a feminist analysis of this story. See pp. 1517 for more information on this form of criticism.
2. Discuss mental illness and gender roles.
3. Discuss the relationship between fathers and daughters.
“The Yellow Wallpaper”
1. Discuss the role of the imagination and gender. How are the brains of women and men different?
2. Discuss mental disorders (like schizophrenia) and problems with gender identity.
3. Discuss the infamous “rest cure” developed by Weir Mitchell and how it can be seen as sexist medical treatment. How is this story a critique of the medical establishment?
4. Discuss post-partum depression—its causes, its effects, and its treatment.
“Happy Endings”
1. Discuss the social construction of gender.
2. Discuss the critique of relationships and women’s roles presented in this work.
3. Compare and contrast the feminist critique of relationships in this work and in Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper.”
Due dates
Draft 1: Friday, May 16 (last day of class for seniors)
Draft 2: Wednesday, May 21
Essay Final: Tuesday, May 27
Workshop Groups
As you will not necessary be in school after May 16, please exchange emails and provide feedback to each other online. Otherwise you will need to make arrangements with your group members. You will still need to include all written feedback (e.g. email messages) in your portfolio.
Shakerrie, John, Dana
Jovan, Caitlin, Franshaun
Jordan, Caleigh, Brittany
Alice, Shannon
Portfolio due Friday, May 30
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Workshopping Drafts
What follows is a guide to peer editing from a UR student. I thought this provided excellent specific information on what to read for when you're reading each other's drafts. I should see multiple paragraphs addressing ALL the information below written at the end of each draft you read. This will be part of your participation grade. Make sure your name is clearly marked on the first page, upper right hand corner. Do not just tell the reader that their draft is great and then correct grammatical mistakes. To do this is to misunderstand the rationale for peer editing.
In order for you to truly absorb this information, I will ask one student in each workshop group (see last post) to read this aloud to your group. Then proceed to read each of your drafts aloud. Use the time I give you in class to begin responding to these issues and marking up the drafts. Drafts should be returned to writers by Thursday. WE WILL MEET ON THURSDAY.
As always, make sure you have copies of your drafts ready for your peers and one copy for me. You can email me your copy as an attachment. Please refer to the syllabus for naming your document.
****************
Peer Editing Guide
by Melanie Dawson, University of Richmond
Professors often break their classes into small groups that edit drafts of papers; this guide will help you to make thoughtful comments about another's work.
First, read through a group member's essay in order to get a general idea of the writing. Does the essay make sense? Can you, without reading the paper, summarize its main point or points? The paper doesn't have to convince you of a particular viewpoint, but it should seem a thoughtful, coherent piece of writing that you can readily understand.
Thesis Statement
• Can you find it? Does it accurately voice the main idea of the paper? Does the thesis state the main idea and some of the reasoning behind that idea?
• Is the thesis supported in the body of the paper? Is there any evidence or support for the thesis that is missing?
• Is there any information that contradicts the thesis? Is all of the textual evidence clearly related to the thesis? If some information is not relevant, can it be cut from the paper? If this information is necessary, how could the writer include it without undercutting his or her main ideas? (Hint: look at transitional phrases within sentences.)
Coherence and Clarity
• Do any ideas seem vague? What can the writer explain more thoroughly that would help the reader?
• Can you determine the paper's audience?
• Is the purpose of the essay clear?
• Does the introduction give the reader "clues" about the subject of the essay?
Content
• Is the conclusion a conclusion or a mere summary? Does the conclusion refer back to the introduction, helping to round out the essay?
• As a reader, do you sense a structure in the paper? Can you determine a logic behind it? Are the ideas easy to follow in their arrangement?
• Do the transitions (both between sentences and between paragraphs) help to connect ideas? If not, what other structural changes could the writer make? Would other transitional devices be more appropriate?
• If the writer is working with fiction, is the plot summary of that fiction too lengthy? Or does the writer strike a good balance between his or her ideas and details from the story?
• Is the paper interesting? What are the most interesting/convincing sections of the paper? How could the writer expand upon these sections or make the rest of the paper as interesting?
• Are there sections of the paper that are better written than others? If so, do you think these sections are better focused, with the ideas more completely defined? How can the writer bring the rest of the essay up to this level?
Style
• Is the style understandable? Also, is the style appropriate for the intended audience? Are there too many linking verbs (is/are/was/were) in the writing? Check, too, for overuse of the passive voice ("was written").
• Is the writer too tentative about her thoughts? Does she rely heavily on phrases such as "I think.." or "It seems" or "approximately"?
• Is the research thoroughly documented?
• Is the research integrated into the paper, or does it "weigh down" the paper, obscuring the writer's ideas? How could the writer more successfully integrate sources into his or her paper?
Marking the Draft
• If you are working with a photocopied version of a paper, feel free to write a few comments and suggestions. Careful, don't make the page "bleed" (think what it would look like in red pen).
• Draw a straight line ( _____ ) under words or images that strike you as effective. These words would include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, and striking images.
• Draw a wavy line (~~~~~) under words or images that are weak or unconvincing. Put these lines under words the writer repeats too often, ideas that seem vague, flat, or unnecessary.
• Put brackets ([ ]) around sentences or groups of sentences that you think should be combined.
• Put parentheses ( ) around sentences that are awkward or don't make sense.
In order for you to truly absorb this information, I will ask one student in each workshop group (see last post) to read this aloud to your group. Then proceed to read each of your drafts aloud. Use the time I give you in class to begin responding to these issues and marking up the drafts. Drafts should be returned to writers by Thursday. WE WILL MEET ON THURSDAY.
As always, make sure you have copies of your drafts ready for your peers and one copy for me. You can email me your copy as an attachment. Please refer to the syllabus for naming your document.
****************
Peer Editing Guide
by Melanie Dawson, University of Richmond
Professors often break their classes into small groups that edit drafts of papers; this guide will help you to make thoughtful comments about another's work.
First, read through a group member's essay in order to get a general idea of the writing. Does the essay make sense? Can you, without reading the paper, summarize its main point or points? The paper doesn't have to convince you of a particular viewpoint, but it should seem a thoughtful, coherent piece of writing that you can readily understand.
Thesis Statement
• Can you find it? Does it accurately voice the main idea of the paper? Does the thesis state the main idea and some of the reasoning behind that idea?
• Is the thesis supported in the body of the paper? Is there any evidence or support for the thesis that is missing?
• Is there any information that contradicts the thesis? Is all of the textual evidence clearly related to the thesis? If some information is not relevant, can it be cut from the paper? If this information is necessary, how could the writer include it without undercutting his or her main ideas? (Hint: look at transitional phrases within sentences.)
Coherence and Clarity
• Do any ideas seem vague? What can the writer explain more thoroughly that would help the reader?
• Can you determine the paper's audience?
• Is the purpose of the essay clear?
• Does the introduction give the reader "clues" about the subject of the essay?
Content
• Is the conclusion a conclusion or a mere summary? Does the conclusion refer back to the introduction, helping to round out the essay?
• As a reader, do you sense a structure in the paper? Can you determine a logic behind it? Are the ideas easy to follow in their arrangement?
• Do the transitions (both between sentences and between paragraphs) help to connect ideas? If not, what other structural changes could the writer make? Would other transitional devices be more appropriate?
• If the writer is working with fiction, is the plot summary of that fiction too lengthy? Or does the writer strike a good balance between his or her ideas and details from the story?
• Is the paper interesting? What are the most interesting/convincing sections of the paper? How could the writer expand upon these sections or make the rest of the paper as interesting?
• Are there sections of the paper that are better written than others? If so, do you think these sections are better focused, with the ideas more completely defined? How can the writer bring the rest of the essay up to this level?
Style
• Is the style understandable? Also, is the style appropriate for the intended audience? Are there too many linking verbs (is/are/was/were) in the writing? Check, too, for overuse of the passive voice ("was written").
• Is the writer too tentative about her thoughts? Does she rely heavily on phrases such as "I think.." or "It seems" or "approximately"?
• Is the research thoroughly documented?
• Is the research integrated into the paper, or does it "weigh down" the paper, obscuring the writer's ideas? How could the writer more successfully integrate sources into his or her paper?
Marking the Draft
• If you are working with a photocopied version of a paper, feel free to write a few comments and suggestions. Careful, don't make the page "bleed" (think what it would look like in red pen).
• Draw a straight line ( _____ ) under words or images that strike you as effective. These words would include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, and striking images.
• Draw a wavy line (~~~~~) under words or images that are weak or unconvincing. Put these lines under words the writer repeats too often, ideas that seem vague, flat, or unnecessary.
• Put brackets ([ ]) around sentences or groups of sentences that you think should be combined.
• Put parentheses ( ) around sentences that are awkward or don't make sense.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Essay #2
Draft 2.1 is due on Wednesday, April 23. Draft 2.2 is due on Monday, April April 28.
I have decided that as long as your claim is focused on the theme of family, you do not have to use one of the stories/film for this essay. (Many of you will still want to use a story as the basis for your claim.) You must, however, use four outside sources to support your ideas. A minimum of three sources should appear (with in-text citations and a works cited page) in your second draft. Many of you had difficulty with the last essay because you did little work UNTIL the second draft (which really seemed to function as a first draft for most of you). This made giving feedback--from myself and your peers--more difficult.
Please return to my older posts on Research, Documentation, and Writer's Memo for details.
Your workshop groups for Essay #2 are as follows:
1. Shakerrie, Brittany, Shannon
2. Caitlin, John, Jordan
3. Caleigh, Franshaun, Alice
4. Jovan, Dana
You may submit drafts in hard copy or by email. PLEASE follow directions on syllabus when naming files. You may also use google docs, which would be an ideal tool for peer editing. Needless to say, peer editing needs to be taken more seriously. Please see pages 30-31 of your textbook. Ask your peers questions. Provide suggestions.
I have decided that as long as your claim is focused on the theme of family, you do not have to use one of the stories/film for this essay. (Many of you will still want to use a story as the basis for your claim.) You must, however, use four outside sources to support your ideas. A minimum of three sources should appear (with in-text citations and a works cited page) in your second draft. Many of you had difficulty with the last essay because you did little work UNTIL the second draft (which really seemed to function as a first draft for most of you). This made giving feedback--from myself and your peers--more difficult.
Please return to my older posts on Research, Documentation, and Writer's Memo for details.
Your workshop groups for Essay #2 are as follows:
1. Shakerrie, Brittany, Shannon
2. Caitlin, John, Jordan
3. Caleigh, Franshaun, Alice
4. Jovan, Dana
You may submit drafts in hard copy or by email. PLEASE follow directions on syllabus when naming files. You may also use google docs, which would be an ideal tool for peer editing. Needless to say, peer editing needs to be taken more seriously. Please see pages 30-31 of your textbook. Ask your peers questions. Provide suggestions.
UR/OHS Collaboration
The University of Richmond students have invited us to come for the presentation of their website. The date is Tuesday, April 29 from 2-5. Please clear your schedule so that you can attend this meeting. We will need to carpool. We can also take a short tour of the university and have a bite in the dining hall. A meal costs $8.75 which does sound pricey, but it's all-you-can-eat!
Lessons from Essay #1
Overall, research was well done. Topics and connections made to the literature were interesting. Third drafts were generally much better. With the next essay do not wait until the third draft to complete your research or develop your ideas. Your second draft should be a good indication of where your final is headed.
Do not overuse rhetorical questions. Make your argument clear for reader with statements of position and support.
Avoid beginning sentences with "I believe" or "I think." We are trying to write more formal, less personalized essays so try to write in third person. Also avoid using second person "you."
Some basic elements of grammar need to be addressed. Capitalization, spelling, usage, and sentence formation are particular problems. Use the handbook to check items before you submit drafts.
Better proofreading needs to happen! Read your essay aloud to catch simple mistakes before you turn in a final copy. This should be standard practice.
Do not forget your Writers Memo (see earlier blog for comprehensive list of prompts to consider). Check your syllabus to see how this are being graded this semester.
Do not overuse rhetorical questions. Make your argument clear for reader with statements of position and support.
Avoid beginning sentences with "I believe" or "I think." We are trying to write more formal, less personalized essays so try to write in third person. Also avoid using second person "you."
Some basic elements of grammar need to be addressed. Capitalization, spelling, usage, and sentence formation are particular problems. Use the handbook to check items before you submit drafts.
Better proofreading needs to happen! Read your essay aloud to catch simple mistakes before you turn in a final copy. This should be standard practice.
Do not forget your Writers Memo (see earlier blog for comprehensive list of prompts to consider). Check your syllabus to see how this are being graded this semester.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Nobody's Family is Going to Change
"Nobody's Family is Going to Change" is apparently the name of a children's book (an odd one!) and is also the theme of this week's This American Life--the radio show we listened to last semester. Because we are discussed the theme of family, I thought I would post the link. Do you agree with this idea? I'm intrigued!
The show is broadcast at 10am on 88.9 FM and after its air date, you should be able to listen to it online. I highly recommend this program for the excellent writing, use of interviews, music, and commentary. Check it out.
This American Life
The show is broadcast at 10am on 88.9 FM and after its air date, you should be able to listen to it online. I highly recommend this program for the excellent writing, use of interviews, music, and commentary. Check it out.
This American Life
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